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I don't remember the rest ofthe night until Jessie towed me away to the taxi.We went again the next week. Amy's girl hadn't showed last week, shesaid, so we had to go again. I'd barely stopped aching from last time,but after another one of those horrific drinks, I was glued to thedancefloor till they hauled me away.The same happened the week after. And the next... At some point, Istopped even noticing if Jessie and Amy were there. When I wasn't there,I tried to convince them to go more often, but when I was dancing, I wasjust glad that I wasn't being interrupted. It wasn't even the dancingthat I enjoyed, it was losing myself to the pounding rhythms that shookmy soul; if I danced, it was only because I couldn't imagine another wayof reacting. People danced with me sometimes. I can't remember who, theywere just tools, a pole to dance on.The rest of the week was muted now, just a pause in the music. Schoolwas irrelevant, and the teachers had gotten used to leaving me alone aslong as I. Yes, I was bisexual, but my last heterosexual relationship was a disaster that had traumatized me. It was a very psychologically abusive relationship that had left me battered and scarred.I had tried to date other men after it ended. But, the emotional toll that had been inflicted on me had made me gun shy. My needs had driven me to become bisexual. The painting of Jack had affected me in a strange way. It was not just the size of his member or his muscular body that had fascinated me. Rather, it was the tender look in his eyes. The way that Meg had painted his eyes had drawn me towards him in a way I hadn’t experienced before.I was a nervous wreck. The thought of a threesome was unbelievably exciting for me, and I was very anxious about how I would react when faced with the actuality.Meg noticed that I was in a state. She gently chided me, “Kate, relax. You don’t have to participate if you don’t want to. This time with Jack is a gift I’m giving to me. It’s a way of thanking Jack for.
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